I attended a funeral on Monday 18th. A close friend of mine had their father pass away after a long strugge with demintia. As they always say it’s is very sad but then again happy that the suffering has ended. What was more poignant for me in this sense is that this may be the turning point were the weddings tend to drop off and while the baptisms and younger birthdays will continue I might see the raise of more and more funerals.

It won’t be the sudden unexpected funerals, it will be the older generation that will be passing on. More frightening will be older members of my family. The shift I realise is that I’m getting older, time is ticking on and life is moving at a faster pace that I realised.

This funeral also brought to light the impending mortality of my own parents and the hollowing feeling, that I had for a moment, if my parents where to suddenly pass away.

Words cannot explain how I would feed, so I’m not going to try to write them down here, I do have a visual that flashed before more that may expalin it.

I saw myself in an desolate landscape very much like a small boat in the middle of the ocean or myself walking towards the endless horizon of a frozen land. Time and nature moved on and I moved towards something but there was no one with me, I had limited tools and I had figure things out myself.
I marched forward.
I was scared.